LOL. My mind has been racing all day. Things are going on inside, and right now I just so happen to e in a "dark night." It's seems not too long ago, moments like this would literally BREAK ME DOWN to where I couldn't eat, I couldn't think, I wouldn't allow myself to smile....for weeks I kept up this crazy behavior. Thinking that that was what I was suppose to do....suppose to do. We are so programmed, don't be mistaken.
Any who, and now that time has moved on, and I have grown by leaps and bounds....things are a bit more "easier" to handle...they still hurt, but they make more sense. lol. Well, I guess "they make sense".......SOMETIMES.
It's been almost 9 months, and I can still feel him pull me to him before he fell fast asleep.
It's been almost 9months, and I can still see him sitting on the couch across from me concentrating on his current game with whomever he was playing on the Internet racing, and after he would win he would glance at me and just smile.
I remember that we didn't have to always be talking. We very much learned the art of just being. We learned so much from one another. We learned how to speak to one another. To go against the grain and show emotion. Show care. Show concern. Show joy.
It was always the little things. How I made him feel at home, and how me always let me know I was on his mind.
Then he was willing. I was just happy. Happy that I had finally met someone who understood me so thoroughly. The naps on the couch on a Sunday afternoon in between my sports lessons via NFL season. LOL I even remember the live games we would attend. Then I remember his birthday. That was a good day. SO many smiles.
Do I miss him? More than anyone could imagine. I just keep thinking...just one more day. if only I had had one more day. I would have stared a little longer. I would have touched a little softer. I would have made time stand still, just to have one more moment in that bliss.
I never said my post would all be "inspirational", only that if you read, I would write.
It just so happens I WRITE TRUTH.
LOVE & LIGHT
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