Change

They say that change is the only constant in LIFE. Today is when that constant has appeared in mine. I never ever thought that a day like today would exist. I'm not sad. I'm not crying, or in pain.....just really ready for the next phase in my life.

10 years ago I fell in love with this kid in college. Seems like just yesterday we were in the parking lot of the library talking....and discovering. Crazy how it all started from a very insignificant phrase, but I am thankful for the experience. It was a whirlwind love affair....a ton of bliss coupled with a ton of pain. We fell in love on the first night. People say that that is an impossibility....but impossible is NOT a scientific term.

Naturally we didn't make it. He was 20 and I 23. He said that he had to discover life, and while discovering he didn't want to "hurt" me. I was crushed, because I didn't understand how he could turn away from what we felt. I spent my entire college career in love with him. I've spent the better part of my adult life comparing men to him. Not indulging in some good men who crossed my path, because they were fraternity brothers.....or because I was simply worried about what he would think....or I wanted to be "available" for that moment....you know the moment where he would come back for me. He never did.

We've been friends for years now, however things still aren't reciprocated. I often am left feel unappreciated. Used. Neglected. Today during meditation he came up. As I asked the question "how do I get ready?" the answer came that I had to say goodbye.
And so I did.

So this is the first day of this new and uncharted territory. For the past 10 years, I've been stuck in 2000...and today I have finally arrived in 2010. This is not an easy thing for me to do by far. this is not something I take lightly, or something I think will just disappear into thin air. However, it was certainly something that should have been done a while ago.

Things may not always end up the way you thought they would, but if you just sit in silence for a second...just a second....things will end up as they should!


One thing I know for sure is that if you don't create change, change will create you. Change is the essence of life. There is no reason to be afraid, rather I must be willing to surrender what I am for I will become. Change is inevitable....and I'm good with that!

LOVE & LIGHT